Category: Potpourri

After taking over 2,500 photos during my recent adventure to Germany, Holland, Luxembourg, and Belgium, I selected the following 40 photos as a “photography showcase.”  Posted here without further comment!  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was a very tough week.  On Wednesday, my father’s only sibling, his brother Bill, died – and on Friday, my mother’s only sibling, her sister Harlene, died.
Uncle Bill, almost age 77, was 11 years younger than my father, who died in 1989.  Uncle Bill had a tough life, dealing with growing up with difficult parents and fighting mental illness.  Although he graduated with a degree in English from Berkeley and worked for many years at the IRS, Uncle Bill struggled most of his life.  With few friends, no spouse, and no children, my brother Shawn and his wife Pamela became Uncle Bill’s primary emotional support with the rest of us siblings helping at times.  I admit it was tough accepting phone calls from Uncle Bill – aka, Uncle Eeyore.  Regardless, I feel sad about his death, caused by contracting covid at his assisted living facility.  Not only for the loss of the person but also the last generational linkage to my father.

Aunt Harlene, age 91, was exactly six years older than my mom, who died in 2009.  They were both born on March 4.  Aunt Harlene became an emotional shell of herself after Uncle Irv, her husband of over 60 years, died three years ago. Social, beautiful, and talented, Aunt Harlene was a special ed teacher and had three children and four grandchildren. The past seven or eight years, since she fell and broke her hip, have been sad and difficult for her. She was ready to go, so when she contracted covid, she told her children she was done. And she was.

Right after receiving the news of Aunt Harlene’s death, I picked up Emmett for an overnighter so his parents could drive down to SoCal to get Emmett’s big brother from sleepaway camp.  While having a fabulous – and, yes, exhausting – time with Emmett, memories kept flooding back…

• Emmett calls me “Nana,” the name his parents have given me.  He has three other grandmothers, one called Meme and the other two called Grandmama.  I love the name Nana!  It’s what I called my grandmothers and what my mother was called!  Hanging with Emmett, I thought about Nana Harlene and her grandchildren, one of whom is getting married next May.  Nana is a powerful and meaningful name in my family.
• Although I’ve lived in my condo for nine years, I had never been in the pool until this Friday when I took Emmett for a “swim.”  Who taught me to swim?  My Pop Pop Al, Uncle Bill’s father.  He built an apartment complex in Burbank with a pool and taught me to swim in that pool.
• While rocking Emmett at bedtime in the chair my mother – Nana Anne – bought me when Ben was born, I gazed upon two paintings hanging on my wall.  I don’t remember if Aunt Harlene or her father, Pop Pop Dave, gave them to me, but they’re artwork Pop Pop Dave and Nana Fay received for their wedding.

Uncle Bill (from Ben’s Bar Mitzvah)

 

Aunt Harlene and Uncle Irv (from a visit in 2012)

 

I considered camping this week in San Simeon – and decided not to.  Instead, I headed up Highway 1 today, thinking I’d get up to Cambria and the Elephant Seal Reserve. 

Squirrel!  I saw Harmony Headlands en route and chose to explore the coastal park – with my camera in hand.  Although the hike is not long – and the beginning trail from the road to the coast is a bit monotonous – once I saw the ocean, I was so happy I made this choice!  The fog rolled in and out, along with the waves.  Birds, flowers, bees delighted me.  Below are a few of my favorite photos from today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life as a retiree ROCKS! 

One of the best decisions I’ve ever made: RETIRING! In my Facebook memories at the end of every quarter, I see my countdown to break – e.g., “Two done, one to go.” With each memory, I feel the stress of grading, teaching, working…being BEHOLDEN. Then I reflect on life NOW. There’s so much more time and freedom to do what I want, when I want to do it. Spend time with family and friends, travel, read, photography, volunteer…BE. This moment in my life ROCKS!!!

Let me explain… I LOVED teaching.  I LOVED working with (most of) my students.  I LOVED mentoring students.  I LOVED the intellectual challenge of higher education.  HOWEVER, when I was done, I was DONE.  Before the pandemic, I would walk into my college and, simultaneously, hold two thoughts:  1) I love my job; and 2) I want to retire.  When COVID-19 hit and I had to transition to remote teaching, the joy of teaching dissipated.  I no longer had the pleasure of spontaneous authentic conversations with students and colleagues.  I no longer had the fun of truly connecting with others.  I no longer had the satisfaction of feeling like I made an impact on someone’s life.

With this as background, when the opportunity arose to retire I evaluated my financial position and submitted my retirement paperwork.  I have NEVER looked back!

Do I miss the day-to-day interaction with students?  Yes, if it could be BC (Before COVID).  Talking to friends who are still teaching, I know the world of education is forever changed.  This does not mean it is better or worse – just different.  This time, I had the privilege to choose which different I want for my life.

The different I have now:  TIME!  I have TIME to relax, breathe, hike, travel, explore – all with friends and family – or on my own. 

It is the FREEDOM that comes with retirement that I LOVE.

Some days are hard.  Especially hard are holidays when I expected to be surrounded by the nuclear family I thought I had help create.  Divorce and independent children changed that.  My children are launched and happily living their own lives.  Although I have a terrific partner and enjoy many of the benefits of his family, it’s still not the same.  Some days are fabulous and I feel completely loved and loving.  Other days are hard when, even surrounded by others, I feel alone.  Yesterday, Mother’s Day, was the latter.  I’m learning what my triggers are…mainly, family gatherings when I am not surrounded by those who I thought would be surrounding me.

I fully understand the privileges I have – health, family, friends, finances.  I also completely understand that there are so many people with so much less who deserve as much happiness, contentment, and, yes, privilege as I enjoy.  AND I also recognize that my feelings are real to me.  I love my family, I love my friends, I love my life.  And sometimes, life is just not as easy as it seems.